19 Years

I completed my 19th year of life today. And I've come to the conclusion that I have a good life. I am blessed in so many ways. I have a wonderful loving family, a great extended family, amazing friends both that I've grown up with and that I've met in Costa Rica, an extremely sweet boyfriend, and a beautiful God that loves me and wants what's best for me. Although the future is very uncertain and is the cause of a lot of my worry and fear, I need to remember to live for today, count all my blessings continuously, and remember what a great God I am here to serve! Lord, thank you for the wonderful life You've given me, and help me to live it all to Your glory!

I Have Changed

I have just returned to my little, normal hometown of Wheaton, Illinois after 4 months of living in Costa Rica and I have returned changed.  In being taken out of the comfort of what I've always known and being immersed into a completely different world, I've been forced to confront things that I've never been exposed to before, been separated from all the people I've grown up with to find out who I am without them, and been given the opportunity to distinguish whether or not my faith is truly my own.

I have been learning so many things lately, especially now that I'm home-- I've been processing everything.  I feel like I've been thinking and overanalyzing everything more than I ever have in my life before.  I'm finding out who I am and what my purpose in this life is.

So far, I think I can fairly say that Costa Rica has been (and I know this is so cliché, but) a life-changing experience, full of both crazy joy and deep hardships.  Now, I've been realizing that while I love to have fun and laugh at the crazy things God puts in my life (and believe me, I've had some insanely fun and hilarious experiences), but when it comes right down to it, I tend towards taking life seriously.  And I think that this is both a blessing and a curse.  

I've been learning that this world, this life, the things of this world, the relationships I'm forming-- none of these things, even if they bring me temporary joy, will ever fully satisfy me.  They can be good things--don't get me wrong-- but the reality is that we live in a fallen world.  It's as simple as that.  Everywhere I go, things just aren't quite right.   I have now lived in two different cultures and am learning that though we might differ in many ways--how we do things, how we think-- it all comes back to the same thing.  We are all people and we share the same desires-- to be loved, to find joy, to find peace, to discover something in life that promises a hope in the midst of the hurting and brokenness that we are constantly bombarded with.  

So basically, it comes down to this.  I went to Costa Rica, had some amazing experiences and met some amazing people, don't get me wrong, but I was never completely satisfied, so I thought, well, it will be better when I get home.  I'm home now and I have that same feeling of "What's wrong with this picture? Why am I still not satisfied?"

And here's the answer.  There is only one person that completely satisfies.  There is only one thing that brings the hope of change in this fallen world.  And believe it or not, it's not Republican policies, or Barack Obama, or donating a portion of our income to charity to try to feel better about ourselves, or waiting for the church to step up and finally make a difference.  Maybe I'm not saying this clearly, but the point is that our human efforts will fail and will continue to fail.  ALWAYS.  We cannot do anything about these crazy problems that we struggle with every day.  So where the heck is the hope?

Well, you probably guessed it.  The hope that I've been trying to get back to in the midst of my depressing rant-- Jesus.  The fact is that we continuously fail on our own efforts because we were not made to function apart from God.  We were made to be completely inhabited by God and to reflect the moral qualities of God.  But in the Garden of Eden, we chose independence of God and that is where everything fell apart.  Nevertheless, ever since then, God has developed the perfect plan to draw us back to Himself and to  a state of dependence on Him.   He did this through sending His only son, Jesus Christ so that He could take upon Himself all of our crap so that we can be righteous in God's eyes and have the hope of redemption and an eternal life of perfection, without pain and suffering and brokenness.

Here's the point.  I have a purpose that is beyond just me-- we all do.  It's not all about me.  In fact, it's hardly about me.  I am just the smallest little person who constantly struggles with doubt and fear and trusting and fulfilling my own selfish desires and trying to find satisfaction.  And honestly, what it comes down to is that I can do nothing about it.  I am a sinful, self-centered, fallen human being who continuously tries to succeed by my own efforts.  But the beauty of this hard truth is that because of Jesus, I don't need to do it on my own.  We don't need to deal with all the brokenness of this world by ourselves.  We have a hope and a future.  My value and worth in this life comes from who I am in Christ.  And let me tell you-- this is a beautiful reality.  I have seen this power of Christ working throughout the world through His people and this power has the ability to change even the coldest most removed heart.  And the way that I’ve seen God work in my life and the lives of others is simply too beautiful for words.

So anyways, this past week, after returning from Costa Rica, has been a very emotional one.  I’ve been struggling with having to face decisions about finding a job and my future-- what God wants me to do in the fall, and with the rest of my life, for that matter.  And all I can say is that God answers prayers in His timing.  He found me a job, praise the Lord!  But I’m still waiting to figure out what He wants from my future.  And it is frickin hard not knowing, especially when I tend towards emotions of fear and doubting and lack of trust.  And I know that God’s plans may contain pain, fears, and suffering, but I also know that they are good for those who are following Christ.

I now know, without a doubt, my life purpose.  I don’t belong with anyone or anywhere except to a living God and I am here to let the beauty of Christ shine through my life and my being so that others might see what I have in Christ and find hope in Him.  And God doesn’t want me to dwell on the past and “better times” or to worry and fear about my future.  He wants all of me-- here and now in the present.  I need to live every day by faith and in complete dependence of Him.  I am called to love others unconditionally as Christ loves me-- that includes everyone, my brothers and sisters in Christ, the people at my new job, my family, or even that random person that I see in the check-out line of some store.  Everyone needs the love of Christ shown to them.

The more I learn about God, the more I learn how vastly insignificant I am and that the only thing I can do is give everything that I am to Christ so that He can work His will in whatever way He chooses through me.

And I need to always remember to count my blessings, because as I said, I sometimes take life too seriously and overlook the little miracles that Christ puts in my life everyday.  My prayer for you is that you discover the same beauty and freedom in this truth that I have.  

Anyways, I know I’m not very good at writing, but hopefully the truth in these jumbled words will speak for itself. Life is hard, but there is hope in Christ and all we have to do is sit back and let Him do what He will in our lives, all to His glory.

You are my supply, my breath of life, still more awesome than I know.

You are my reward, worth living for, still more awesome than I know.

And all of You is more than enough for all of me,

for every thirst and every need.

You satisfy me with Your love,

and all I have in You is More than Enough.

Well, yes, right. That's all. :)

GALLO PINTO. mmmm good.

So, time for another update! And I think I will try to put some pictures up too for those of you who didn’t look at the ones on Facebook.

PORTANTORCHAS! my school.

All the girls when we had a birthday party for Janelle :)

Emily (my roommate) and Christie at the beach in Manuel Antonio

Preston, Pablo, me, Jordan, and Luke

Emily, my roommate :)

Let’s see. We have officially transitioned to all Bible classes instead of Spanish classes.  I’m really glad to be done with Spanish.. I didn’t improve a ton, but I definitely improved. So anyways, to kind of finish off our Spanish classes, this past weekend all the Spanish students had the opportunity to stay with Tico families (Costa Rican families) from Friday afternoon until Sunday afternoon.  My family consisted of a couple (Jose Pablo and Fanny) and their two sons, Jose Pablo (17 years old) and Sebastian (10 years old).  I spent the majority of the weekend with Fanny and Sebastian because both of the Jose Pablos had to work.  Only the kids could speak some English (because they attend a private Christian English-speaking school). So basically, I spoke and listened to Spanish for the whole weekend.  That was the first time that I really have felt immersed into the culture here.  

At my Tico family’s house, they cooked really delicious food, including my favorite breakfast here-- Gallo Pinto! It consists of mixed beans and rice and eggs and sour cream and some type of bacon or ham. It is DELICIOUS.  So I had that both mornings for breakfast, and we have it here at Port at least once a week. It’s so funny because the first time I had it, I was like.. this is SO weird having beans and rice mixed with my eggs for breakfast.. but I LOVE it now, and I know I will miss it when I come back to the States. Haha.. So, when we weren’t eating I went shopping with them to the Supermercado, played games with Sebastian, looked at photo albums with Fanny, talked a lot with them, had some down time to read my Bible/ a book I have to read for classes, watch a movie etc. On Saturday night, my Tico family went out to eat with some of their friends at the resturant where Jose Pablo (the son) works. I had some really good chicken and fries.  It was kind of funny because while we were driving there, we fit like 9-10 people in this smallerish car and I was sitting right in the center and we were driving in this very hilly town and every person around me was speaking very loudly in Spanish that I couldn’t understand. Anyways, all this to say, I felt slightly carsick on the drive there.  On Sunday morning, I went to church with Fanny and Sebastian. Let’s just say that the church was very different from College Church :). For example, during one of the songs, a lady began yelling and was spinning around dancing in circles until the end of the song when her friends had to lay her down on the floor because she was so dizzy.  The whole experience was extremely emotional, except I couldn’t follow very well the sermon, so I wasn’t sure what we were getting all emotional about. But it was cool, all the same, even though it was very different.  Then, after church, we went out to eat for Chinese food. It was good but it made me crave some serious Panda Express.  Which by the way, I’ve been craving Qdoba quesidillas like CRAZY! And just home-cooked meals, in general.

Fanny and Sebastian (My Tico Family :))

My Tico family's house.

The living room

Dining room and kitchen

So, in all, I really liked my Tico family and I’m glad to have had that experience, but it was the first time being in a family setting since I’ve been here and it made me miss my family a lot, and I was so happy to get back to see everyone at Portantorchas again! 

So then this week was our first week of legit Bible classes. We have classes every morning from 10-12 (except for Wednesdays when we have workday), And then Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights I have Bible classes from 7-9ish.

This week we also started our ministries. My ministry is going with a group of about 6 other people to an Orphanage that has about 14 kids. We go on Mondays from 3-5. I really like the kids and I’m very excited for this ministry!

The kids at the orphanage!

We also got our family groups, which meet Thursday nights. Last night we ordered pizza for dinner and just played scattegories and some other games. It was pretty sweet.

This weekend should be a little bit more low key. I have my first paper to write for a Bible class that we just wrapped up on Mark.

I guess that’s all for now. I love and miss you all :)

Love, Sophie

SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG!

HEY.

Sorry that I haven't written in a while.  Everything is so busy.  Well... I'm still loving it here. The people are so amazing and God is so obviously alive and working here.  It's awesome because I feel like I can completely be myself around everyone.  And I have definitely been developing some amazing friendships, and I really love all the staff too.  We have all become one big family.  

Classes have been going well.. this is my last week of Spanish classes :).  I like my Spanish classes alright but I think 4 hours straight each morning is a slight overdose.  And also, I think I've been learning more Spanish from talking with the Latino students here than I do in the classes.  Although I've been learning a lot of Spanish, it's still hard because most of the students here speak English all the time (including me) so we aren't getting as immersed into the Spanish language as I thought we would.  But hopefully it will get better with time.

Anyways, back to the people.  Every Monday morning we have an hour of worship for singing and prayer (half the songs in English/ half in Spanish) and it's definitely one of my favorite times of the week.  This morning, Karolina, who is on staff for cleaning, fainted twice and gave us all a scare, but I thought it was so beautiful to see the body of Christ come together to pray for her.  I am so very blessed to be a part of everything that is going on down here. 

To continue on that note, we've been having a lot of injuries lately.  One boy came to Port on crutches because he broke his leg falling off a mountain rock-climbing, I dislocated my knee (which by the way is getting a lot better.. thanks for your prayers!), one girl fell and might have fractured her neck and is currently wearing a head brace, another boy injured his ankle and has to use crutches because it's super swollen.  So anyways, we could use prayer for all the injuries. 

Let's see, what else? This next weekend we are all going to have to stay with Tico families (Costa Rican families) which I'm a little nervous about, just because they will speak all Spanish. But I'm sure it will be a very good experience.  I can't think of anything else to say right now.. if anyone has any specific questions, I'd love to answer. Hope you all are doing well! Miss everyone!

Love, Sophie

Beach! and other things..

Hola!

This past weekend we had the opportunity to go to Manuel Antonio beach on the Pacific Ocean, about 4-5 hours away from Portantorchas.  It cost about $60 to pay for the transportation, the hotel and a few meals. Anyways, we left at about 6:30 Friday morning and it took us about 8 hours to get there because we got stuck in traffic.. literally a stand still for like 2-3 hours because of some surfing competition on the way there. And then when we got there, it was kind of rainy and everyone was pretty worn out from the bus ride but we had a nice dinner at the hotel. The next morning we went back to the beach until around noon and then drove home. And once again, we got stopped in some town along the way for like 2 hours because they were having a huge town party (basically a huge beerfest). Anyways, we were all really happy to get back to Port! 

This week has been busy with Spanish classes for 4 hours every morning and Bible classes Monday and Tuesday nights. This is my first free night in a few days.. it's pretty exciting! Anyways, this wasn't a super interesting post, but oh well. Miss you all! 

Love, Sophie

Beginnings.

Let's see, where to start?

So I have been her for about 5 days, and it already feels like I've been here for a long time. But it still hasn't been long enough to make me too homesick. I still kind of feel like like I'm on a short term missions trip or at summer camp. It hasn't hit me that this will be my home for the next 4 months. I'm getting to know all the students and staff and I love everyone. 

So far I've only had one somewhat major disappointment.  A few days ago a group of us were playing ultimate frisbee and I was going for this crazy catch and I somehow ended up dislocating my knee. Thankfully it popped back into place on it own.. but for the first day after that I had to be on crutches and I've been icing it multiple times a day.  It's still a little swollen now but it's getting better. I'm praying for a fast recovery!

Anyways, I've started both Bible classes and Spanish classes.  Monday morning we took a Spanish placement test to see whether we would be in beginner, intermediate, or advanced Spanish. I'm in advanced. OH BOY. We had our first official spanish class this morning. It's pretty difficult because everything is completely in spanish, but even in the 5 days I've been here, I feel like I've improved a lot, mainly from talking to all the spanish speaking students.  On Monday night we had our first Bible class on Romans taught by Marco (the director of Port) and then last night we had a class on Mark taught by Tom (our principle). The classes are mainly in Spanish, but for now, the teachers try to translate the basic concepts into English. Thank goodness. 

Hmm. What else? The food is alright. Most of us are constantly hungry.. but thankfully we went into town this afternoon and I bought a few craved food items :) 

Well, I guess that's all for now. 

Miss you all!

Sophie

I have finally arrived.

HOLA!

I am finally here in Costa Rica! It's so weird to finally be here after so much anticipation. It doesn't feel like I will be here for 4 months.. it kind of just feels like I'm at camp or a missions trip or something. Yesterday morning I had to wake up around 4 for my 6:45 AM flight. All of the traveling went well.. except for when my huge bags fell on top of me and made me fall over after going through customs .. slightly embarassing.. especially because I was by myself at that point. But anyways, about 6 other students had just arrived at the airport and we all drove to Portantorchas together. The campus is so beautiful.. it is usually hot in the mornings and then rainy in the afternoon, and then a lot cooler at night. I am staying in a casita with 9 other girls.. so far only 4 of them are here. 2 of them are here for their second semester.. so it's nice to have some people who already know how things work around here. My roommate is a girl named Emily from Texas and we unpacked all of our stuff this morning. She brought like 4 huge 70 lb bags.. I guess everything is bigger in Texas :). Anyways, we are like the same person in a lot of ways! So that's good. About half of the students are here so far, so I have been meeting so many new people. Everyone is realllly nice and I'm so excited to meet the rest of them! This morning we took a trip into San Jose and walked around a lot and got pizza for lunch and I bought shampoo and conditioner because I couldn't bring it on the plane before. (so Mom, you don't need to send me any :)) Thank you all for your prayers! It has been a very smooth transition. Miss you all!  Mas luego.

Love, Sophie

Two More Days!

HEY!

So, I guess this is my first official post. Sweeeeet. Today is Wednesday, and my flight for Costa Rica leaves at 6:45 AM on Friday, July 31st.  I'll be flying alone (for the first time in my life), so I guess I could use some prayer for that. Haha. I already had to say goodbye to my brother David because he left for his Chicago Impact Missions Trip this past Sunday-- I have been saying a lot of goodbyes this week. It's sad, but it hasn't really hit me yet. Claire, my good friend from Wisconsin, has been here for the past two days helping my run errands, pack, and clean out all the old junk in my room. She is AMAZING. I don't know what I would have done without her. THANK YOU, CLAIRE!

Anyways, now my feelings about Costa Rica:

I am extremely excited about having the opportunity to start fresh and meet about 31 new students plus staff.  I will be taking language classes for the first month and then Bible classes for the next  I have already talked some with people who are going via Facebook, but it will be nice to finally meet everyone in person :). I'm so excited for just a change in scenery and I am looking forward to all the things that God will teach me during my time there. Along with my excitement, I'm also nervous about this HUGE change in my life.  I just have to trust that this is God's plan for me, and although it might not always be easy, I know I will learn a lot. I know I will miss my family and friends a lot-- ESPECIALLY my family... but thank God for Skype! 

Hopefully, I will be able to keep this updated pretty regularly. (Watch this be my only post :))

If you would like to keep in touch (I WOULD!), here is my address:

Sophie Penner

Portantorchas

Apdo. 1291-2150 Moravia

San Jose, Costa Rica

HASTA LUEGO!

The next time I post, I will probably be in Costa Rica. WEIRD. :)