A New Chapter

A new chapter in my book of life has officially begun. I have closed the Costa Rica/Bible school chapter for now (although I'm still in contact daily with amazing people that I met there) and am trying to take what I've learned there into my next chapter. I'm starting my second week at Indiana Wesleyan University where I will be focusing on Intercultural Studies/Spanish. My first week of school was fantastic. I am super impressed by the school and what it stands for. I almost feel overwhelmed by how many people here are so obviously seeking God in everything that they do. It's intimidating! But it provides a great environment in which I can grow, and I praise God for that.

This past weekend rocked my world a bit. I found out that one of my friends from my first semester at Port (Costa Rica), Jordy Gauthier, passed away in a car accident. It's been hard to deal with because all of us who were there with him in Costa Rica are now spread around the globe and many of us who would like to have the opportunity to attend his funeral probably won't be able to. It's so hard to have lost such a wonderful friend with a big heart, but I have peace knowing that He is with Christ now. (He actually became a Christian during his first semester at Port!) So I hope and pray that even though his death his ridiculously hard, some good can come of it and that people would remember how Jordy gave his heart and life to Christ. A few weeks before he passed, he actually got a tattoo on his back which read in Spanish, "He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Psalm 62:6-7"

That is just beautiful.

Anyway, God has been teaching me lately little by little to trust Him more and to really realize that He's got it! He's got it all under control. He loves me and knows what is best for me in each moment even though, quite frankly, I don't understand what the heck He is doing. Kind of like when our parents won't let us do something that we want to do-- At the time, we're frustrated because we don't understand why (and we throw tantrums and pout), but later, we can look back and be so thankful that our parents didn't let us do whatever we wanted, and we can realize that our parents disciplined us out of love and of wanting what is best for us, just like our Heavenly Father. I can trust that God is good, and I know that all things work together for good for those who love Christ Jesus.

My future is very wide open right now, and sometimes it worries me that I don't know what's going to happen in my future, or even tomorrow for that matter (look at Jordy!). But I don't need to worry, because if I trust in God, He will continue to lead me to right where he wants me to be-- through the valleys and storms and over the mountaintops--and I know that I am invincible until He calls me home. And as I grow everyday deeper into the heart of God, I can discover this real peace and joy that He offers, so that when the storms of life come, I will not be moved. I will not be shaken. This is the best way to live. I've got abundant life in Christ, let me tell ya. Jealous? You shouldn't be. You can have it too ;).

Love, Sophie

Contentment

One of the things that God has really been pounding into my head over the past few months is the idea of contentment. I had a very rough first month and a half of my second semester at Portantorchas due to worrying about relationships and my future. I was very emotionally unstable and I went from being really happy one day to crying my eyes out about something in my life that made me dissatisfied the next. And as a Christian this is not how I am called to live. I cannot be driven by my emotions. I cannot try to satisfy myself with things of this world, of this life. I am learning that in Christ, I can have the freedom of contentment.

In Philippians, Paul writes,

11Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. 12I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need."

Contentment is not something natural, but something that Paul had to learn through hard life experiences. Contentment goes against everything that our world teaches us. We are bombarded with wanting that next better version of our material possessions, with wanting that relationship that will bring us our happily-ever-after, or simply desiring to be out of the bad circumstances that we are in right now. This way of life leaves us always wanting more and constantly living in dissatisfaction.

So, the solution is that we must learn to be content. In all the suffering and hardships that Paul went through, he had to learn not to depend on external situations to bring him happiness, but instead look constantly to God’s truths to be sufficient for him. Paul became independent of man and anything that the world could throw at him because he was completely dependent on God.

So here’s the thing. In Christ is the only place where we can find contentment. Matthew 6:33 says that we are to not worry about our lives, but instead to “Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be added to you.” We have compete access to God no matter what our circumstances. Therefore, if we keep our eyes on Christ, we can find continuous contentment.

We’ve all heard the expression, “The grass is always greener on the other side”. If we are living in Christ, this statement is a lie. The grass is greener on OUR side. Think of it like this. God has given us a specific block of grass that we are responsible for. We can spend all of our time looking at the blocks of grass given to the people around us and wishing that they was ours, or we can choose not to complain and be thankful for the grass that God has given us, to water it, to care for it, and help it to grow and flourish. In the same way, I need to be thankful for the life that God has given me, look at the people and circumstances that God has placed in my life, and figure out how I can love and care for those people and use my circumstances to bring glory to God.

God promises to provide us with everything that we need, and He will never give us more than we can handle. Therefore, we don’t need anything more that we have right now, here, today, in order to be content. But it is up to us whether or not we choose to be satisfied in Christ.

In 2 Corinthians 6:4-10, Paul writes,

4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

This is the freedom that I have in Christ. I don’t have to live my life depending on the things of this world to make me happy. I could easily find numerous things in my life that could be better, but what good would come from that? God doesn’t want me to dwell on the past and “better times” or to worry and fear about the future. He wants all of me, here and now in the present to live my life in complete dependence of Him. And as I seek Him, I will learn to be content and find peace during the storms or even simply during the somewhat dull routine of everyday life. As we can see clearly from Paul’s life example, we can be happy and find God’s peace no matter what this world throws at us. Praise God!

Extremely Brief Update of Second Semester

Well, I neglected my blog during my whole second semester in Costa Rica, and now I'm feeling the pressures of updating you all on the many things that I've learned over the past 4 months. I'll try to make it somewhat snappy.

2nd semester was completely amazing. However, it definitely wasn't easy. My first 2 months were extremely rough. But God has clearly been at work in my life (He tends to show up a lot more during our storms, because that is when we are forced to seek and depend on Him.) and in the lives of the people around me.

I guess I would say that my first semester at Portantorchas could be summed up as a new country, new culture, new friends, lots of fun, learning more about God etc. However, after spending 2 months back home and thinking a lot about our futures after Port, I think that we (the other Port students and I) went into our second semester realizing that our experience wasn't going to last forever, that we needed to take advantage of it, and live as though we actually believe that our sole purpose is to live for Christ--not saying that we did that perfectly (because we didn't), but the community atmosphere was so much better 2nd semester. All the guys met every morning before breakfast to pray, and my friendships with a lot of the girls grew so much deeper as we shared in experiences, struggles, good times, and grew together in Christ. I made some of the best friends of my life, and I'll never forget any of them.

It's hard now, because we all are back in our hometowns thousands of miles away from each other, and we know we can never get that particular Portantorchas experience back. But, despite the sadness, we can be happy to know that God doesn't change. As I start this new chapter of my life, so far away from the beautiful experience that I've just had, I know that God is here with me. I know that I don't belong anywhere or with anyone except to a living God who will always give me what I need to get through. And if I continue to seek Him, I know that the journey of life will keep getting better, not easier necessarily, but I know that He has great plans for me.

So, from now on, I will always be missing someone, but God will always be right here with me!

I have so much more to vent about all that I've learned, but I will save all that for another day.

Back at Port

Well, I am back in Costa Rica for my second semester at Portantorchas Bible School. Yesterday I woke up at 2:45 AM so I could leave for a 5:40 flight to fly to Miami and then San Jose. It was sad to leave my family again but I am so glad to finally be back here after 2 months at home. My awesome roomie Emily is here with me and there are a few other students here already that were here with me last semester. This weekend all the other students will arrive :). It's weird being back-- I feel like I keep transitioning between two completely different worlds. I'm going into this semester with a different attitude/perspective than last semester. Nothing is new anymore. I've had the last 2 months to kind of snap me back into the reality that this is my last time coming here and after this, I'm going to have to go back to whatever else God has for me. I just pray that I will be able to move on after this wonderful experience. So, I guess I could use lots of prayer in the next few months, as I will have to be making decisions about my future and what to do in the fall. A few goals I have for this semester at Port are to 1)be more intentional with my time (be in God's word, prayer, reading, developing relationships), 2)stop focusing so much on myself, and instead, turn the attention towards God and to the others that I'm building relationships with, and 3) be intentional about serving others and sharing my faith with others. So anyways, that's all for now. Oh and by the way, I'm still freezing in Costa Rica. Who would have thought?

Piercing the Darkness

I have heard of Moody Bible Institute in Chicago all of my life, but I've never really stopped to take a second look at what it is all about until today. This morning, my dad and I went to visit and I went to see a friend from Port who now goes there. I was pretty blown away by what I witnessed. I've always been excited at the possibility of going to a Christian college but never really considered attending a strictly "Bible" college, because honestly, it's always sounded a little bit like spiritual overdose. But I guess going to a one-year Bible school has opened my eyes more to a Bible school possibility. At my visit this morning, I was amazed by the passion that seeped out of almost everyone that I came in contact with. That school is just busting with kids that are on-fire for Christ and really seem to clearly understand their purpose of making disciples of all the nations of the earth. The chapel service was amazing and all of the people that I met just exuded Christ's love in simple but very impactful ways. It was extremely moving to discover that in the heart of the spiritually broken city of Chicago, there is a large group of people whose hearts are overflowing with the passion of the church of Christ and are learning how to go out to the ends of the earth and pierce the darkness with the beauty of the gospel.

Also, I just watched a random YouTube video of a slideshow of pictures from Haiti (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esUu2C6kLu8#) and at one part, a man was being interviewed-- apparently he lost his wife, his church, his Bible college all in the devastation of the earthquakes. However, when asked why he was still smiling, he simply replied that his joy comes from the Lord.

The power of the God we are here to serve is insane. I know of nothing else in the world that can give hope in the midst of these huge storms of life and put such beautiful smiles back on the faces of the broken.

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam , though the mountains tremble at its swelling" (Psalm 46:1-3).

All that to say, I still have no idea what I will be doing this coming fall, whether it be Moody, or a liberal arts Christian college, or community college, or even no college at all (SHOCKER), but God will work it all out in His timing. And I can take comfort and find peace in the truth that, "for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). God works in beautiful ways, and I can do nothing but be left in awe when I see small glimpses of what He is doing across the nations.

Back to COSTA RICA in 4 days. CRAZY pumped.

Sneak Attack of the Emotions

Only 10 days until I return to the much loved country of Costa Rica! I am very excited to see everyone again and find out what God has for me this second semester at Portantorchas. This past month and a half God has been stretching me and growing me spiritually and as a result, I feel like the devil has been trying harder to steal me away. Thankfully, God wins :), but this break there has been a constant battle waging between soul and Spirit.

Apparently, I'm a very emotional person. And this fact has been hiding itself for most of my life until now when it decided to jump out and attack me. Thank you for that lovely surprise. Anyways, my emotions decided to creep out right now specifically because for the first time in my life, my future seems very wide open and unsure. And in the next few years I'm going to venture into the real world of responsibility-- no more of that carefree childhood. Dang. But although I don't know what my future looks like, I can trust that it will be a good one as long as I keep my eyes on God.

Wellll, yes. I am extremely excited to head back to Costa Rica-- the warmth, my crazy awesome friends (although some of them sadly aren't coming back! Que triste mae! Ping pong with Tach no mas!) Pero, I am also starting to get sad because I'm realizing that I have to leave my family again for 4 months. I guess from here on out I will always be missing someone. Joy.

Haha, but really, I'm not as depressed as I sound. I'm very happy. I am blessed in so many ways. I have wonderful family who wants what is best for me, amazing friends, the awesome opportunity to spend the next 4 months building relationships with God and others in a beautiful country, and the hope of a bright future in Christ. Despite many unknowns, I got it good. And I am just going to live in the present and depend on God to give me what I need every day, one day at a time. He is good!

Well, I wish I could be more naturally funny like Christie, or more unnaturally funny like Tasha, but unfortunately, no matter how hard I try, I just can't be clever with my writing like them. Well it is what it is. And I can't think of anything more to say. Goodnight.

Little Blessings

my sister

the bright shining sun

Pablo

friends that want to go deep spiritually

Costa Rica

the piano

painting

hot chocolate

my brother

my Bible

jammin out in the car

prayer

my casita girls

TACHA

when my friends kidnap me

books

working out with Lily

Cedric ;)

my parents

spanish

weird freak people from long distance

gallo pinto

the warm beach

chillin in the laundry room

love

my talks with emily

music

talking

grandparents

dance parties

chocolate chip cookie dough

my bed

praise music

Thank you for all the little blessings.